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Social and emotional mental health needs

Children and young people presenting with social, emotional and mental health (SEMH) difficulties often struggle to manage their emotions and behaviour. They also find it difficult to make and keep relationships with adults and other children and young adults.

These difficulties may show as them becoming withdrawn or isolated as well as through challenging, disruptive or other concerning behaviour. Children and young people with SEMH often struggle to engage in a learning environment, often showing inappropriate behaviour and may benefit from additional support to reach their full potential.

Voice of children and young people with SEMH

We spoke to children and young people in Kent who have SEMH and asked them how they feel. This is what children and young people in Kent told professionals:

"I can't manage my emotions when I'm worried"

"Everyone is horrible, why will you be different to me?"

"I need to stay in control"

"I may not remember what happened when I was unsure"

"I feel chaos so it's easier if there's chaos everywhere"

"I don't know what to say and can't use the right words"

"I have felt hopeless before and I don't want to feel like that again"

Support from your education setting

As well as ADHD and autism, your child or young person may experience one of the SEMH needs described below.

If you have any worries about your child or young person, you should talk to their teacher or the special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO).

If they feel that your child or young person has SEN, extra learning support will be put in place. Over time they will learn more about your child or young person, and will go through a 4 part process called the 'assess, plan, do, review cycle' (the graduated approach).

All of the descriptions provided below represent how behaviours or presentation can be perceived by others. It is important to see these behaviours in the context of anxiety and possible language and or learning needs.

If your child or young person has attachment difficulties they may:

  • appear anxious and withdrawn
  • appear to sabotage situations where things are going well
  • avoid eye contact
  • find it difficult to join in with play or interactive games
  • lack self belief and confidence
  • experience intense and overwhelming emotions, including anger or loss of control
  • lack any inhibitions, for example hugging people they don't know or being over friendly
  • struggle with impulse control
  • struggle with cause and effect thinking.

If your child or young person is experiencing one of the above characteristics, your education setting may:

  • consider reasonable adjustments
  • liaise with you for a shared understanding of their needs
  • liaise with Virtual School Kent for any training or advice, as well as working on the Attachment Aware Project
  • look into their past, whether they are:
    • adopted
    • a forces child or young person
    • child in need
    • looked after child or young person.
  • provide a nurture group
  • provide a robust and careful transition when they start school, taking into account their history
  • train all staff to be aware of them and how to respond at a single child level.

If your child or young person has fight or flight characteristics they may:

  • appear to be dishonest
  • blame others
  • be disrespectful
  • be violent towards property or people
  • pushe friends away
  • refuse to follow instructions of comply with normal behaviour rules
  • self harm or has self sabotaging behaviour
  • steal
  • use inappropriate language.

If your child or young person is experiencing one of the above characteristics, your education setting may:

  • bring your child or young person in at the end of assemblies
  • carefully consider seating arrangements in the classroom
  • communicate new routines in advance
  • consider movement and learning breaks
  • ensure consistent rules, boundaries and schedules whilst remaining willing to offer some flexibility
  • make tasks relevant and interesting, and link to their strengths and development needs
  • provide a secure and safe place
  • provide support through organised activities during unstructured times
  • support verbal input with visuals (demonstration, images, objects, key words).
  • think carefully about lesson content in relation to any previous known experiences
  • use strategies and approaches to develop understanding of presenting, for example the Iceberg theory.

If your child or young person has freeze or fold behaviours they may:

  • appear confused often
  • not listen or interact
  • be easily distracted and has difficulties with concentration and engagement
  • be clumsy
  • be forgetful.

If your child or young person is experiencing one of the above characteristics, your education setting may:

  • allow a buddy system approach
  • assess through teaching if there are parts of the curriculum that they find easier to manage than others
  • bring your child or young person in at the end of assemblies
  • introduce small group work, including friendship, social skills and nurture groups
  • investigate when the behaviour changed
  • liaise and collaborate with you to understand the wider picture
  • provide play based activities and establish their interests
  • provide substitutes for self-harming behaviours, for example elastic bands
  • seek advice around self harming or risk taking behaviours.

If your child or young person has low level disruption characteristics they may:

  • frequently interrupt
  • often fiddle with objects
  • talk out of turn.

If your child or young person is experiencing one of the above characteristics, your education setting may:

  • allow a time out or quiet area in the classroom
  • describe and differentiate the differences between the use of voice, gesture and body language
  • focus on reducing anxiety
  • provide flexible and creative use of rewards
  • provide positive reinforcement of expectations through through speech or visual prompts.

If your child or young person has difficulty making friends they may:

  • not be able to cope with a large crowd
  • be quiet around others
  • like to work alone, and does not want to get involved in group projects.

If your child or young person is experiencing one of the above characteristics, your education setting may:

  • allow a small group or nurture group of class mates to support their personal, social and emotional development
  • provide additional circle time
  • include a buddy system in the class
  • refer to our friendships page, which outlines support groups and ideas to talk to others about their disability.

If your child or young person has physical symptom characteristics they may:

  • be soiling themselves
  • have stomach pains
  • often have headaches.

If your child or young person is experiencing one of the above characteristics, your education setting may:

  • keep a log and analyse any patterns or trends that identify a trigger in a change to their behaviour
  • liaise with the school public health service
  • provide activities that are stress reducing, for example:

For additional support and guidance read the Mainstream Core Standards which sets out how education settings should be supporting your family.

Education support

If your child or young person has specific SEN needs, their education setting can put in specific support to help them. This includes the above information shown .

See what support is available in early years settings and mainstream schools.

Health support

Sometimes it may be easier to manage your child's mental health on your own or with the help of friends and family. Other times you may need professional help. Find out who can help your child or young person's mental health.

Additional resources

You may find it helpful to understand your child or young person's SEMH needs by: