Supporting your autistic child or young person at home

Explaining to your child or young person they are autistic

It's up to you when you tell your child or young person about their autism. Some parents and carers tell them early on, whilst others wait until they're older. You know your child or young person and you know what's best for them. There's no right or wrong time.  It may help when you tell them to:

• explain they do not have an illness, but they might need extra support to help them with some things
• explain they might find some things harder than other people, and some things easier
• do it when they're feeling calm or relaxed
• talk to them in a place where they feel comfortable, with no distractions
• bring them to a support group to meet other autistic children.

The National Autistic Society made a helpful guide. It explains how to start this discussion.

You may find it easier to sit down with your child or young person and read books about autism. Why not visit your local library to borrow a book about autism!

Helpful tips

Here are 10 tips to help you interact with autistic children and young people:

1. Be kind and flexible. They're often less able to adapt to new situations.
2. Use gestures or other ways to communicate besides words.
3. Learn how to show interest and affection in ways they like.
4. Try to help them communicate by using Signalong, Makaton or social storyboards.
5. Be patient, they may need more time to process information.
6. Use positive reinforcement. Praise or reward good behaviour.
7. Stick to the same bedtime routine , and remove any bright lights to help with sensitivity
8. Don't take things personally if their responses are blunt.
9. Ask siblings to be involved in supporting activities.
10. Plan activities for weekends and holidays in advance and share those plans.

Download Ambitious about Autism's parent toolkit. It contains more tips, templates for appointments, and meeting checklists.

Talking to siblings

You also may need to sit down with any siblings to discuss how they are feeling.

They may have many questions. They may find it hard to express emotions. The charity SIBS has great advice and support for siblings of autistic children.

Talking to grandparents

Grandparents may have a harder time understanding autism. Don't be afraid to give grandparents as much information as possible.

They can provide an excellent opportunity for your autistic child to learn and grow with. Grandparents can also provide a vast array of new social opportunities for your child to practice their social or communication skills.

Planning a day out with your austistic child or young person

Planning a day out is exciting. But, there can be more to consider when travelling with your autistic child or young person. Visit National Autistic Society website for tips.

Helpful resources

Remember, autism is different for everyone. What happened to other people might not be the same for you or your child. For more information about autism, you can read or watch one of the following.

General:

• NHS autistic glossary of terms
• How do I help? NHS video for parents helping to understand how to support neurodiverse children.
• A guide to neurodiversity in early years - a document from Anna Freud, National Centre for Children and Families.
• Making friends and autism - a guide from the National Autistic Society.
• Signs of autism in teenagers - a guide from Aspris.
• Find training opportunities.

Specific needs:

• Behaviours and autism - a guide from National Autistic Society.
• Challenging behaviours - an introductory video explaining positive behavioural support (PBS).
• Dealing with bullying - a support guide from the National Autistic Society.
• Sensory processing workshop - developed by the NHS to support parents.
• Understanding challenging behaviour and positive behaviour support (PBS).

Family support:

• Family relationships and autism - a guide from the National Autistic Society.
• How to bond with your autistic child through their specialist interests - a downloadable guide to supporting your child from Neuroclastic.
• The Autism Education Trust - has a helpful resources page for parents.
• Talking to your child about autism - videos and activities from Cbeebies.

You may wish to reach out to a local group or charity for more support

Making it work: Kent and Medway’s transformation of neurodiversity support

With the help of parents and carers, work is going on to transform the health and care support for neurodiverse children and young people (such as autistic children and children with attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder) in Kent and Medway.

A new support network for neurodiverse children and young people, their parents and carers is being developed by a range of professionals. This is in response to feedback that parents and carers have consistently reported feeling unsupported when looking for help with the health and care they need for their children and young people.

Find out more about this work and how you can contribute your views.