Aged 10-16

Ever wonder why some people seem to cope better with life than others?

Do you ever wish things didn’t affect you so much? Wish you could be more like the friend who doesn’t seem bothered by the things that bother you?
Resilience is something that we all have, but some people seem more resilient than others.

Reality is, we are all different. This can be affected by the different things we experience in life, and how good we feel at the time we experience them. The good news is, there are things you can do to help yourself bounce back sooner. We can’t always stop the bad things happening in life, but we can change things to make us be more resilient.

Remember, if it's an emergency and you need help right now, call Childline, or contact the police, or your doctor.

This is all about how secure you feel. It’s about the bonds you have with your family and important people in your life. It’s also about the places you feel safe.

It is normal for family members to not get on all the time. If you feel that your family relationships are getting you down, or need to improve how secure you feel, you may want to:

  • Try to start a conversation with your parents about how you are feeling
  • Talk to another trusted adult about how you are feeling
  • Write down what it is about your family or home that is causing you to feel down or anxious.

If you feel unsafe or are being hurt it is important that you get support as soon as possible. You can call 999 or call Childline on 0800 1111. you can also find lots of useful advice about family worries on Childline's website.

This is all about how you enjoy learning, taking opportunities to try new things and thinking about your future.

School can be a complicated place to be. Workload can be stressful, relationships with teachers and friends can make life difficult.

Is something making school difficult for you?

  • I’m being bullied
  • I’m finding work difficult
  • I’m having problems concentrating
  • I’m worried about exams
  • I can’t make friends
  • I don’t know what subjects to choose
  • I don’t see the point of school

Childline offer advice on many of these issues that you may find useful.

Friendships can be really positive. Having friends that make you feel good about yourself is important. Being a good friend is also important.

If you are feeling like you do not have good friendships, feel lonely, or find it difficult to relate with other people, you may want to try the following:

  • Take a look at our talents and interests help to see if there is an activity where you may find friends with similar interests
  • Consider talking to a trusted adult about how you are feeling and work through strategies to improve this area of your life.

If you are experiencing bullying of any description, or your friendships are making you miserable, go to Childline for further advice.

Talents and interests are the things you like doing in your free time. Things you are good at or enjoy.

Having a talent, or things you are interested in, can make you feel good. They:

  • give you a sense of identity and belonging
  • can improve your mood
  • can lead to other opportunities
  • give you enjoyment and a reason to feel good about yourself.

Is there something you used to love doing but you don’t anymore? Why is that? Think about what interests you, what you are good at, what you might like to try.

  • There might be opportunities inside school. Speak to school staff. If you can't currently find a club or activity that suits your interests, try and find out if other people might like the same things as you. Your school might be willing to consider developing a new club or activity.
  • What activities do you know of outside school?
  • Are any of your friends already involved in things you’d like to try? Speak to your friends, find out where the activities are run, if they cost anything to attend, how you could get there (maybe another parent could help out if travel is difficult)

Having positive values usually means you are generally a helpful, caring and responsible person. This can be helping others, comforting people when they are upset and sharing with others.

Being helpful, caring and responsible is often harder if you have low self-esteem. Here are some tips for helping to raise your self-esteem:

  • Know yourself
  • Understand what makes you feel great
  • Recognise things that get you down
  • Set goals to achieve what you want
  • Develop trusting friendships that make you feel good
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help
  • Stand up for your beliefs and values
  • Help someone else
  • Take responsibility for your own actions
  • Take good care of yourself

Childline offer some good advice about how to be assertive and express your feelings without being seen as unfriendly or rude.

Social skills are the characteristics and traits you have as a person. You have a sense of hope and feel you can do things.

Which of the following best describes you?

  • I am proud of who I am, I have a sense of hope and feel I can do things.
  • I like who I am, I have some sense of hope, I feel I can do some things well.
  • I don’t really know who I am, I don’t feel hopeful about the future.

If  that last point looks like you, or you're having problems handling feelings like embarrassment, guilt, jealousy or anger, Childline offers lots of advice on handling these emotions.